Happy April, everyone. It feels like we’ve been moving through a few different types of new year energy since the “conventional” new year on January 1st, from the spring solstice to Aries season. These last few days, I’ve felt a sense of major calm, and also gained perspective on the ways in which I had been living in survival mode over the past few years. Fast mornings, constantly hurrying, pulse racing, prioritizing productivity over all else: my version of survival mode afforded little room for creativity or flow, and, as I’m looking back on photos of myself from this time, there’s a palpable sense of disconnection and sadness in my eyes. Oftentimes, returning to ourselves simply means slowing down.
(It’s funny how things can feel the same for so long, and then all of a sudden, you wake up anew. Willow flower essence has been helpful here. Probably, also, the emergence of spring.)
I’ll be headed to New York next week for 10 days, one of which will be spent with some of you. It will be my first time back since moving last spring, and I’m excited to reconnect with people and places there. I’ve been sitting on a long piece about my time there, and also a series of entries (originally intended for Chloe Pingeon’s Collected Agenda) from last March, around the time when I first decided to leave. An excerpt:
Something has shifted in New York. More likely, something has shifted within me. Last night I told L and B that my ego wants to stay, but my soul is ready to move on. I think I’m being a bit dramatic about leaving. A few weeks ago, my Reiki practitioner called it ‘rational.’
(Paid subscribers can read the full piece here.)
In other news, I recently did a podcast interview with friend-of-the-letter Saara Lampwalla, touching on self-trust, discernment, and aura-maxxing.
Whenever I have these conversations, I’m reminded of how much matter is living in us, waiting to be unearthed by someone who isn’t us. Being asked the right questions truly is a form of love.
I recommend starting the episode around the 10-minute mark.
I’m working on a few different things for you, including the long-awaited provider directory (live soon!). Some of these have been derailed by new commitments, including the full-time job I started last week; nevertheless, we persist.
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