#11: Linus Gross

"True healing, grieving and reconnecting means being totally in tune with yourself and not dependent on outside help."

Linus works at the best location of LPG Biomarkt (IYKYK) and makes music as Chickenmilk dot com. This feature has been in the works for nearly a year, but came together quite last minute; enjoy.

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Health Gossip #11: Linus Gross
Pisces/Scorpio/Pisces
Berlin, DE

What does health, or being healthy, mean to you?

I think of health in the individual mainly as emotional health, meaning a strong and integrated inner connection to oneself — which, if present and nurtured, automatically leaps out to other areas like physical health.

Being healthy means being “in tune,” and therefore intuitively treating your mind, body and surroundings with respect. The more in touch one is, the healthier they automatically become. We live in a profoundly unhealthy, disconnected, and traumatized world, which — while individual circumstances are generally still applicable — makes it harder to obtain and maintain health for most people, but I feel very confident about myself and future generations building a healthier society.

For me personally, being healthy means doing what I like and think is real, being where I want to be, keeping my home clean, being alone, ghosting the world, being open to change, being minimalistic, getting rid of parts of my life that don't fit who I'm becoming anymore (e.g., personal items, clothes, furniture, friends and wisdom teeth), inviting change and even expecting it, staying undefined, staying fluid and needing as little as possible in order to feel content.

How would you describe your current lifestyle? 

Hermitic, not entirely celibate, but might be getting there. Apart from working my day job, I’m home alone most of the time. I think a lot and journal, I take care of day-to-day business, I do self-care…that's the time I’m on. I'm fresh out of a rat race of being a musician and DJing parties with the motivation of impressing people I used to put on a pedestal, which kind of worked but burnt me out, so I don't create much right now; this is an introspective phase. I rarely do bars or parties, I see some close friends regularly, preferably one-on-one. All in all: chilling, not plotting so much right now, standing on adult business. I feel really good about life, calmly excited.

How do you start and end your days? 

I wake up at 6-7am and start by writing down my dreams, or just memorable details about them if I can't recall them completely. This always feels like a good start to any day because it instantly establishes inner presence. It's like writing a chapter in what's becoming a guide to myself, my character, who I wake up as every day. Also just the habit in and of itself is grounding.

I take an hour or more to get up on a free day. I'll usually stretch for a few minutes, doze off again, wake up again, smoke a cigarette, chug a bottle of water, drink coffee, brush my teeth, and make my bed. I take it really slow, I’ve found this to be my natural rhythm.

I like going outside first thing after, preferably jogging whenever I can. The most important aspect would be not checking my phone for as long as possible, this goes for any time of day but most importantly mornings. Sometimes I keep it off for the whole day, sometimes only an hour, but I believe my day is best approached in solitude and free of distraction. Same goes for nighttime. I go to bed around 10pm and my one or two hours before sleep are most important to me. I love to be alone, phone off, reflecting, journaling, listening to what's inside. That's the craziest adventure for me, honestly: observing what's inside me, what makes up different personality layers, what my mind creates, what that illuminates. That's my ritual. It's inspiring to the fullest and somewhat of a form of meditation to me. I intuitively become aware of my body and breath, too, simply by sitting in silence.

When do you feel the most at home in your body?

After a day of home-cooked meals, jogging, fresh air, and going to the sauna. Generally, I'd say I feel the most at home in my body when I'm aware of it and when energy flows, like when I laugh really hard or when it just flows because I'm happy.

A heightened awareness of my body from the inside instantly provokes this urge to care for it and treat it like the temple that it is. I do body scans everyday, where I relax and scan through all parts of my body over 45 minutes, eyes closed. That's had a crazy effect on my general physical perception. I feel a lot more of what's happening in my body.

Do you believe in the concept of self-healing, or that one can heal oneself?

Very much so. I had a few therapists from 18 to 21 who were all really helpful, but I felt stuck, or as if therapy had become a new thing to pursue with the goal of achieving results as fast as possible. I took a break to go out into the world and live, learn and make memories, build something, but about a year ago I started to feel drawn to analyzing myself more again. I got back into a form of self-therapy that focuses mostly on inner child work and healing trauma through reconnecting with split-off parts of oneself and kind of peeling off layers of parental or societal conditioning.

What I found is that one needs a certain “toolkit” to be able to safely navigate this type of inner journey (e.g., obtaining internal awareness and being able to self-soothe). Many outside factors like financial independence, a living situation that truly feels like home, good friends that I can turn to, physical exercise, sleep, and a healthy diet play an essential role, too.

What I think is most important, though, is facing yourself deeply and building a connection to as many aspects of yourself as possible — a genuine loyalty to yourself and your truth; your way of experiencing and maneuvering through life. This type of intimacy is fundamental to healing because it ultimately means listening to what's inside. I think the further you go, the more that true healing, grieving, and reconnecting means being totally in tune with yourself and not dependent on outside help. It’s an inside job, in the best possible way.

Was there a specific moment in life that made you more conscious of your health?

Shoutout to the situations I got myself in by abandoning my truth and acting out of desperation for love, attention, and admiration (or any other shortcoming). Each and every one of those highlighted the importance in making changes towards living more on my terms, and undoing patterns in which I tried to live up to any outside expectation. In hindsight, the biggest step was moving out from my parents’ and to a new city. Becoming independent. Certainly, this was the step that initiated the most significant processes for me in the years after.

Where do you look to for information and guidance?

As touched upon, I journal and read it back — that's super useful info. I have three friends in my city that really get me on a deep level and that I talk to about my and their processes a lot. I also found this person on Youtube a while back, Daniel Mackler. He makes content on emotional health, collective trauma, critiques of the family system, and just life in general. Lots of case studies and personal observations. I’ve found his content to be perfectly timed; it’s really reassured me that the way I see a lot of things and feel about certain issues is actually accurate and emotionally healthy. He's worth checking out. Still, I feel like trusting my intuition, journaling, making voice memos to myself, and reading or listening back is the most valuable source of truth to return to. It’s where I always go.

Fuck, marry, kill: three health trends of your choice.

Fuck all trends, I don't believe in trends.

What are your grocery staples? What meals do you find yourself returning to?

I cook a lot, various dishes. I like bread, cheese, vegetables and scrambled eggs for breakfast, or porridge with fruits and nuts, sometimes pancakes…typical breakfast business. I rarely eat lunch but more like snack throughout the day, or eat cold leftovers and cook a warm meal for dinner. I love rice in all forms so mostly rice, vegetables, meat, and mushrooms with a wok-ish twist to it, in a wok. I enjoy spicy food a lot so that's a through line in my cuisine, it's spicy. I love soup, too. I cook lots of soup in large amounts and add ingredients over the days. I don't snack much but I love ice cream. I buy groceries for a few days; it's easier.

What do you think is the most pressing health issue of our time?

The collective disconnection from oneself and individual truth and purpose, stemming from societal and intergenerational trauma. I think all pain and destruction that the world is currently facing is essentially rooted in this very issue.

What advice would you give to the person reading this?

March to your own riddim and put your phone away; connect.