...5 More People on Getting (and Staying) Sober

"The Californian side of my family has been a great source of inspiration for me."

This is Group Chat, a space for loose, layered conversations around health & wellness. Today: part two of our sobriety series, featuring five more perspectives on the life-changing effects of abstaining from drugs and/or alcohol.

Sean Kelly, Artist

Location: Brooklyn, NY
Sober: 2 years
@horsegirl_elegy

What does sobriety look like for you?

I am sober from alcohol and drugs. I mistakenly thought sobriety meant just not drinking and doing “hard” drugs. 2 weeks into what I thought was my sobriety journey I ate mushrooms because I didn’t know they counted. I had to restart. Poppers also count, by the way. If everything goes according to plan I would like to be sober for the rest of my life. When I first got sober that was an insane concept to me. I thought I’d surely have champagne at my wedding or a cocktail on a birthday as a treat. But my goal now is to be sober forever.

What led you there?

I drank to have fun in high school. When I went to college I drank even more to have even more fun. I got myself into terrible situations. I was really hurting my body. Our culture, however, loves a hangover. It’s hilarious and light. There’s a new burger at Carl's Jr. called the “hangover burger.” When you go get juice there’s an option on the menu called the “hangover cure” with ginger and lemon. I fell victim to thinking this lifestyle was just a part of being in your late teens/early 20’s. Things got worse and worse but I felt that since I wasn’t waking up and having a pint of Svedka I was fine.

I also believed I couldn’t be an alcoholic because I never drank alone. I was just acting like a silly 23 year old girl, binge drinking with friends on the weekends. Only the binge drinking started creeping into the weekdays. I had a moment in the beginning of May 2023. I went into work as a barback at Le Dive in LES and told myself I wouldn’t have a sip of alcohol during my shift. I made it 45 minutes. I ended that night (or morning) at 8 am in a coworker’s apartment having not slept. That’s when I knew I needed to stop altogether. There was no question of mediation for me.

If you’re still sober, what has kept you there?

The beginning of sobriety was really tough. I remember 18 days sober a woman handed me a shot of tequila at a bar and I stared at it debating for a really long time. I thought I could maybe just have a tiny sip. I thank god to this day I didn’t give in. Social situations were really tough. Drinking was a racing thought in my head. I would see my friends drink and couldn’t be fully present because I was just thinking about how it must taste and how I wish I could have some. I remember one night about 3 months into sobriety at a restaurant my friend ordered a gin and tonic and I ordered a seltzer. When the server came with our drinks you couldn’t tell them apart and I hoped I would accidentally end up with the gin. I did not, thank God.