#56: Paz De La Huerta

"My exploiters took everything from me, but they didn’t take my soul."

May 25, 2025

#56: Paz De La Huerta

Paz De La Huerta (@thefugitive1984) is an artist and actress. While you might have first encountered her in Boardwalk Empire or Enter the Void (or Tumblr or Purple…) there is so much more to her story than meets the eye. If you feel inclined, consider contributing to her funds as she pursues legal action against her exploiters.

Thank you to Paz for her vulnerability and openness in sharing <3

Health Gossip with Paz
Responses logged May 18, 2025
Virgo/Virgo/Sagittarius*

*I happen to practice Asterian astrology and in that I am a Bacchus, like the God of wine Bacchus.

What does health, or being healthy, mean to you?

I had so much trauma in my life.

It took me 36 years to get away from my exploiters and get safe, and then the healing began.

It took me 35 years to take this sacred plant medicine Iboga from Gabon which was, and still is, essential to my healing journey. It made me piece together the insane events of my life, who wanted to hurt me and why, and also recalibrated my brain and stripped me clean of any pharmaceuticals. I am very against pharmaceuticals — more than street drugs, in fact.

Learning the truth about my life, about the sex trafficking and incest and who wanted to silence me and why — and it was my own family who was doing this — then getting somewhere safe was first of the utmost importance. Also reading the Bible and becoming closer to Jesus Christ; this is a life-long pilgrimage [and] I am just now rereading the Bible. I realised I was putting a man in my life on a pedestal and he is certainly not Jesus, so I am back to the real Jesus and taking my power back and having my heart illuminated by Christ. I read something beautiful that in this life the resurrection of Jesus for all is within everyone, within our hearts, having Christ consciousness. This is beautiful. The closer I am to Jesus the healthier I feel. I am even dropping weight and smoking less.

The closer I am to Jesus the healthier I feel. I am even dropping weight and smoking less.

What was your upbringing like? What are some of your earliest associations and memories of health?

There was no health; it was as unhealthy as it gets. My mother Judith, who I have since filed for orders of protection against my entire family, started taking me to doctors when I was a child who gaslighted me and put me on heavy medications. There was constant abuse. The incest with my father began at 5 years old; he would get me drunk and do awful things. Also my mother sexually abused me and then sold me as a sex slave to Harvey Weinstein from a young age. I coped with all of this through drugs and alcohol. Drinking with my father was normal. It was all incredibly confusing and traumatic. The only pure beings in my life were my animals, my cat and my dog. And people should know narcissists abuse their victims’ animals to control them. Judith murdered my cat and my father killed my dog. It made me weaker and more of a victim to my perpetrators who were my parents. I trust animals above all. Half of my memoir is about animals. There is a wonderful book by my old therapist everyone should read, Animal Angels.

How would you describe your current lifestyle?

Healthy and getting more healthy. As I said, it took me 36 years to get safe; I really feel my life only started four years ago. In that timeframe, I have been solely focusing on my healing and rebuilding my life after unimaginable trauma. I live on a farm where I feel safe and protected (I don’t disclose where for my safety; people want to hurt me, so I have high security everything…) This farm I live on has been very good for me but I’m constantly evolving. My last therapist Michael Rebel passed into Heaven and is now Saint Michael, but my current therapist, Saint Anthony, also happens to be a priest. He is a miracle worker. We do EMDR and hypnosis as I have had significant trauma in my life. I am also an artist, I am a painter and an actress, so my art is an outlet for me to heal as well. each art form heals me in another way. Lately I am excited to get back to acting. I need a safe outlet to express my many emotions.

Paz de la Huerta — *Princess Carmelita and the 5 Crying Angels* (2023)

How do you start and end your days?

I wake up and I feed my 3 annunaki white dogs, I do my 7 chakra exercises. Now I am substituting coffee with herbal teas and eating more fruit; when I travel for work I see a lot of people. I have friends all over the world but I am a very private person. Also, given what I have survived, it’s taken me a long time to learn who I can trust to feel safe. I read the Bible, I paint… if I travel to the city, Paris mainly, there may be some times I go out and dance. I feel that’s important, too. I have one lover I see sometimes now that I am reclaiming my sexuality. My sexuality is also important to me and I am hoping soon to find a man deserving of being a father to my children. Here on the farm I don’t have much of a social life; I like it like that. I have my painting studio and I need this time to myself.

Can you recall a moment when you became more aware of your health, or your relationship to it changed?

I have always been spiritual and my spirituality has led to my being healthy. Even when I did hard drugs I wasn’t just trying to check out (except for in my 20’s); I was using them to find something greater. When I was hit by the truck I had a spiritual experience that made me want to live and to one day embody my innate. I feel closest to that now.

I have always believed in plant medicine and its ability to save even the most dire cases and I am a testament to that … and the Bible, San Juan de la Cruz. My exploiters at one point took everything from me but they didn’t take my soul. Now, as I become more whole, I want my body to reflect the beauty I feel inside. I full heartedly believe beauty comes from within.

What’s your relationship to self-healing?

Everything I get is from God. I get my strength from God. When I am out of touch with Jesus, I can go off track… But like I said, the closer I am to Jesus the better I feel.

How do you reset?

The farm helps me reset. I also sometimes need a healthy outlet for my anger. I recently had an exorcism with my friend Deborah in Berlin, I just wanted to feel totally safe and vulnerable connecting to my emotions, studying animals… I believe in so many modalities. After significant trauma it’s important to just be present as well so one can rebuild a happy life and not get stuck in the past. But as you feel more safe then it becomes safe enough to feel and grieving is important, too. Healing is forever, it is life long, it never ends. I feel more whole now than I ever have and now I am revisiting scripture.

When do you feel the most nourished?

This I am working on now. I am starting to eat more healthy, I want to grow wheatgrass on the farm… I started taking probiotics and magnesium and I do plan on doing Iboga again. I am eating more fruits and nourishing things.

Do you have a favorite meal?

These days I love fruit, lots of fruit. I love cherries, pineapple here on the farm.

My friend that lives here is like a sister, she sometimes makes me some traditional dishes. I will start growing wheatgrass, I know that will do wonders for anyone.

Of course, I do love caviar too.