#95: John Doe

"I don’t know if I can live this ‘dopamine detox health chungus’ lifestyle forever, but I’m really enjoying how things are right now."

Apr 05, 2026

John Doe (@pain___house) is a poet from Michigan and the author of Autumn in the Pain House (2024). He lives on the West Coast.

#89: John Doe
Aquarius
West Coast, USA

What does health, or being healthy, mean to you?

I’ve been blessed with consistently good physical health throughout my life. To me, health has always referred to mental health and sobriety. I’m often very ill mentally, I have been addicted to almost everything. I’m healthy when I’m living a life in line with an Alcoholics Anonymous program and the DBT principles set forth by Marsha Linehan.

How would you describe your current lifestyle?

I recently relocated to the West Coast from Michigan. Besides one very troubled year in New York when I was 19, this is my first time leaving my home state. I feel very inspired here. The landscape is dramatic and my lifestyle includes a lot of driving. This is by design, I detest public transportation. Spending time alone in cars is, in my opinion, the closest we get to whatever happens before birth or after death.

Moving here has been one of many changes I’ve made since releasing my first book of poetry in Fall 2024. Another change has been semi-departing from Twitter. For people who are familiar with my writing or Twitter, this is a big change! I posted non-stop every day for almost two years while living an underemployed, celibate, cortisol-fueled life.

Now I have a wagey job that aligns with some of my interests. My drive to work includes a long bridge soaring over a portion of the Pacific Ocean. I have a girlfriend. I don’t know if I can live this ‘dopamine detox health chungus’ lifestyle forever, I would probably get bored, but I’m really enjoying how things are right now.

Spending time alone in cars is, in my opinion, the closest we get to whatever happens before birth or after death.

How do you start and end your days?

My days are pretty uniform. I work 40 hours a week and hike for 2-3 hours every day. I drink horrifying taurine-filled energy drinks in the morning and Irish Breakfast tea in the afternoon. I got ‘addicted’ to tracking my step count in 2025, which is something I saw other people doing on Twitter. I usually end my days on Instagram Reels or reading in bed.

Can you recall a moment when you became more aware of your health, or your relationship to it changed?

Yes. I’ve hit spiritual bottoms with addiction that necessitated major life changes. Getting sober, taking a break from writing, spending less time on social media, quitting smoking, long, contentious periods of celibacy — I felt so torched after writing and releasing a book that I had to take a real look in the mirror. I’m glad there are anons out there who manage their lives and writing better than I do.

Do you have a spiritual practice?

Yes. I had a spiritual experience as a result of working the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. My healing includes paying this experience forward by helping other men quit drinking.

What’s your relationship to self-healing?

I don’t want to get too “Big Book Thump-y” in this, but community and a connection to a Higher Power are paramount to me. I don’t relate to self-healing at all. The whole point of AA is cultivating an understanding of “Self” as the problem. “Self” brought me to my lowest moments, “Self” will only take me somewhere worse. It’s only through letting in the spirit and serenity of a Higher Power — through community, mindfulness, and prayer — that I stand a chance.

Do you work with any practitioners, texts, or modalities on a regular basis?

Yes. The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous is foundational to me. I really enjoy the SLAA Basic Text and the SLAA supplemental reading, Sober Dating. I also recommend Marsha Linehan’s memoir.

When do you feel the most nourished?

I feel most nourished lying on green grass in the sun, no sunscreen. 20 minutes is enough.

How do you reset?

20k steps with incline and listening to someone else’s problems. Or reading.

What foods are you typically drawn towards?

I like chicken and rice, steak, artificially flavored energy drinks, toast with butter, coffee, tea, and trail mix. I’m not concerned with gums, oils, processed foods, anything like that — I’m from the Midwest.