Mom Gossip: Carol by Liv
"Self care can mean letting other people take care of you."
It seems Mother has always been ahead of the curve. Unpasteurized milk, landrace fruit, soy's impact on hormones, I heard it all from her over a decade before being subsumed into the fad diet industrial complex. Her influence could be seen in my brother, who l distinctly remember in the mid-aughts baking traditional southern biscuits with pork fat he rendered himself.
I've cobbled together weeks of voice notes into this concise and loving interrogation of her health journey. It's been very transformative to learn more about her health journey, especially prior to motherhood and since l've left home in Massachusetts.
Mom Gossip: Carol by Liv
Sagittarius/Libra/Pisces
Massachusetts, USA
You had health issues as a child, how did that affect your lifestyle at the time?
I was a sickly kid with really bad asthma and I couldn’t run around to play a lot. On the positive side, being in and out of the hospital so often meant I got a lot of 1-on-1 time with my mom. She would come in to visit me for a half-hour but it was a half-hour I had all to myself. With seven other siblings that was a big deal. I felt really guilty about the attention from all the people taking care of me.
What’s helped you heal from those experiences?
It took a long time to feel comfortable and confident in my body and in my abilities. [A decade of] karate played a big part in that. I’m still doing the work to learn and grow and make better habits. Like, I know I’ll have to get over the guilt of people helping me before I get really old. Self care can mean letting other people take care of you.
I forgot we did karate together as a family for so long. You became very active.
In my 30s and 40s, my health was in great shape while practicing and working at the karate dojo. I was also running road races and finishing triathlons, but the whole time I would remind myself that it's temporary, and one day I’m not going to be able to do this. Now in my 50’s I’m more concerned with what makes my body feel good, and how to maintain my mobility. I’m interested in medicinal plants now because I don’t want as many pharmaceutical drugs in me. I don’t cut them out completely though, it's important to be responsible to not make it harder to take care of me later on.
Self care can mean letting other people take care of you.
Was traditional medicine a part of your upbringing at all?
One memory I have from my childhood is making perfume from plants in Mrs. Craven’s garden, which felt like magic. I’m gotten to a similar place now, I’m just more sophisticated and educated about it. Medicinal plants weren’t really a part of my childhood, though I think they should have been. My dad’s side of the family is from Appalachia and I remember my aunt in Pennsylvania had an apothecary with jars of herbs she would make infusions with. I think if I grew up closer to her I would’ve been more exposed to it.
Research feels like finding missing parts of my family’s story. I’m repairing parts of myself spiritually as well as physically. When I first started, I felt really disconnected from what I could have known about natural medicine as an ancestral practice. Herbs as a spiritual, medicinal, and culinary practice — that’s also part of the Celtic Druid tradition, my mother’s Irish side, [and] something I enjoy researching.
I remember you told me about a 13 month calendar, was that a Druid tradition as well?
There are many oral stories of the Druid lunar calendar composed of 13 months, each named after a different tree. I’ve tried to conduct research on it and it hasn’t been very conclusive. It was a phenomenon across Native cultures in the Americas, though.
I think a 13 month calendar would be a more natural rhythm to follow throughout the year. Like, for most of my adult life, the start of my [menstrual] cycle occurred at a new moon. I tried to create my own 13 month calendar, but it got very confusing and I was unable to utilize it in a productive way. I hope to revisit the idea at Samhain this year.
Where do you get your herbs typically?
I collected Yarrow myself today, just enough for some tincture. It helps with migraines and body aches. Also, I saw Mullein plants while driving back from New Hampshire on Saturday but none of them were mature enough to uproot and process for tea, elixir, or salve. I use Mullein to help my asthma, for some joint pain and other nerve and skin ailments. My friend used to have an apothecary and she would give me things as I needed them. Since she’s moved to Peru I have mostly been doing my own research and collecting things myself, she still helps though.
I know you like hiking. What do you look for in a hike? Do you have favorite hikes?
When I am contemplative I prefer to be alone. I like to walk, think, sit and journal. Memories of a place and those who I have shared it with makes a hike sweeter and sometimes a little sad. For example, I used to help facilitate a place-based learning program (developed by Angela Gibbons) in the wilderness around Goddard College called Earthwalk. Local children and the children of students could opt into a once-a-week walk through the woods, rain or shine. I paired elders within the native community with the children to share stories of the Abenaki people who lived on the campus long before Goddard.
Memories of a place and those who I have shared it with makes a hike sweeter and sometimes a little sad.
Nowadays, I often go to a spot in Andover (Massachusetts) called the Goldsmith Woodlands, it is near Foster’s Pond. There is also a place in Gloucester (Massachusetts) called Dog Town and I also like the Sheepfold in the Fells (Massachusetts). I went to Franconia Notch (New Hampshire) this weekend.
