Mom Gossip: Theresa by Olivia
"The times I felt the bluest in life, I couldn’t see anything but the blue. But then there was joy. There always is."
My mom and I sat down one morning over coffee for what turned out to be a conversation spanning multiple hours, in reflection of the threads that weave ancestry, tradition, and interpersonal connections to experiences of the self and the divine. She was the youngest of seven siblings, born and raised in San Francisco, California to a Sicilian-American family that consisted of chefs, artists, storytellers and beyond. She serves as an endless inspiration for living life with an adventurous spirit, embodying gratitude, and how to truly care for those around you. Her sense of humor is unparalleled and it often feels like we have a language of our own that we communicate in. What has been shared here are just a few jewels to chronologue a life that continues to unfold with so much joy for the simplicity of just being alive.
Mom Gossip with Theresa
Capricorn Sun, Sagittarius Moon, Aries Ascendent
Sonoma, CA
O: What are the pillars of health and wellbeing for you, and how do they manifest in your life?
T: For me, movement is medicine, from the time I was young until now. Knowing your body and how to listen to your body is very important. I trust that my body knows what it needs and desires, and I’ll tune into that each day. Growing up, I would wake up early and ride my bike to the Golden Gate Bridge to sit by the water, with this desire to get outside first thing in the morning. I was always alone, but it was my thing. Maybe it was out of loneliness, because I was the youngest [most of her siblings had left home by then] and it felt like the space where I could talk to myself. It still is — when I run or exercise — it’s where I can go completely inward and recenter. I can problem solve, feel gratitude, and access creativity through my movement practice. It’s where I think, feel, and listen.
The other pillar has always been food, which I had a mixed relationship with growing up, because it really brought my family together, but I also had an eating disorder. So, I had a complex relationship with food that just sort of sorted itself out as I grew older. It never felt like [exercise] was a part of that, but instead that it served as a tool where I was able to learn how to truly connect with my body and love it. Movement was always full of positive connotations. I was able to listen to how I needed to nourish myself and care for my body in order to do all the things that bring me happiness in this life. Surrounding myself with women who had healthy relationships with food and their bodies was also incredibly healing for me. I didn’t really have a model of what true balance could look like until my young adulthood through these relationships.
O: What was it like growing up in a family of chefs and with the restaurant?
T: I grew up eating really amazing food, lots of fruits and vegetables, fish, meat, pastas. Fresh, every single day. My dad would bring back everything fresh from the restaurant. I love knowing exactly where my food comes from and cooking for others was always just a given. It’s such a special way to nurture and I love creating that environment for my loved ones.
Having a restaurant can be hard on families in terms of ownership, but working there as a kid, the responsibility they gave me, I absolutely loved it. I loved waking up super early and taking the bus down to the Wharf. It would be completely empty and quiet at maybe 6:45 or 7:00am. I did all the cold prep, which was cracking crabs and oysters, plating desserts, and preparing the salads. I knew everybody and the employees were all like family. Old Sam was teaching me how to crack crabs and not saw my fingers off, it was just so great. I started working there at 8 counting the cash with my aunt Angie, then did cashiering, and then went to do the cold prep in the pantry when I was 13. After that, I was up in the front, hostessing. All of my siblings were still working there… Tony was 14 years older, so he may have been gone by then, but it was so fun. Michael was cooking on the line as a teenager, and then went to culinary school and came back when he was 23 or so, at the end of my time there. I learned a lot about responsibility and it was just so awesome.
O: Are there any iconic recipes from that era that you still make?
T: My brother Michael does, but me, not so much, I alter everything and make it my own. Maybe some of the seafood…cioppino, crab…that salad is the salad we ate every night, that you and your brother would call bean salad — with ceci. We literally ate that every single night with sourdough, alongside whatever else there was. And it had to have avocado in it. It’s hard to eat a salad that doesn't have avocado. If bean salad make it in this… [laughs]
O: How about any kitchen rituals?
T: I clean as I go. I love having a clean workspace, and wash my knives immediately and dry them. I started hiding my steak knives so people wouldn’t cut things with them when they come over, like a pineapple or sourdough. It’s my biggest pet peeve [laughing]. Why would you cut a pineapple with a steak knife?
O: What inspires you the most lately in regards to cooking?
T: I dreamt of having a garden growing up, how amazing it would be to just walk outside and eat a peach off of a tree, to pick my own fruit. I never thought that I would be able to grow anything…maybe because of growing up in the city. To now be able to walk outside to the garden is amazing and has challenged me as a chef as well — to eat seasonally and get creative with what I am making. It is just so joyful. You know exactly how it was grown and that no pesticides or anything else has touched your food. It was all grown with love. And to be able to give friends boxes of herbs and vegetables, is just pure joy.
And the olive oil! Oh my goodness, I love that olive oil so much. From picking and sorting through the first bins on the ground, picking out any stray leaves and sticks, to now getting to write people handwritten notes. Being so hands-on in the process from start to finish combines everything that I love — being outside, cooking, and sharing with others — all rolled into a small business that I actually enjoy. I just love seeing how much happiness it brings to those who try it.
O: How has your relationship to spirituality evolved over your lifetime?
T: Spirituality is something that is ever evolving to me. I was raised Catholic, and I absolutely loved the rituals of being a Catholic when I was growing up. I used to do Mass, we had a little library in our home, and I would squish down some Wonder Bread [as communion], and I would literally do Mass. I felt really connected to the essence of the stories as a child, in a very pure way — the sacrifice, altruism and consciousness of it all. Confession never sat right for me, though. It never made sense to me that I would need to tell another human being my sins and go through them to reach God.
When I got older, the corruption surrounding the church was revealed to me and it just didn’t resonate as much. My spirituality evolved into a larger quest. I started to meditate around 20 when my sister Laureen first took me to transcendental meditation, and then Sidha yoga. These were all very positive experiences because they taught me to bow to the God within, and to see the God that lives within everybody. Learning to go inwards was a turning point for me and touched on the experiences of my childhood that I didn't fully understand back then, experiences of something larger than myself. It feels like it was yesterday and I can picture it so clearly, looking onto the water under the bridge, and connecting to something greater. The quietness of hearing nothing and everything at the same time.
I feel too much of a connection to what is beyond here for there to be nothing — the Grand Web of Life, for sure. I feel that when I am gone you will still be able to hear and feel me. It’s more about how tuned in we are, so, of course there is so much more to sense in this existence than we know of.
O: What philosophies on life have you retained from your mother?
T: A sense of humor was vital to her. No matter what is happening, she always taught me to not take life too seriously. What can you learn from your experiences? Is there something light in it? Can you find the humor in a situation that is challenging you? It’s important to stay in the present and come back to the knowing that this very moment won’t be forever. And you never know what is right around the corner. The times I felt the bluest in life, I couldn’t see anything but the blue. But then there was joy. There always is.
O: Where do you find a deep sense of fulfillment?
T: So much of who I am in this world is about my interpersonal relationships. I love being around those closest to me because our connections feel so deep and soulful. That’s how I want to be remembered in this life — not by material successes, but by how others felt around me. The way our society measures accomplishment by our work or career just never really resonated with me, personally. I always felt the most fulfillment based upon how I can support and care for those around me. I really started to feel a deep responsibility in caring for my family when my mom got sick, and subsequently as my siblings have gotten older as well. It was such an honor to take care of both my parents as they aged. Escorting them on their way out when they passed, staying with their bodies. It’s such an honor to be with the soul as it transitions.
I see connections with others as soul-to-soul — my soul interacting with your soul —regardless of whatever the outward facing relationship may be. It brings in the purity of respect and love to our interactions, seeing us as souls who are in one another’s care for brief moments in time, void of any power dynamic. I see some people who interact with their children as if they are an extension of themselves. Like the success of their children is what provides their own sense of worth and validation. That’s not what I believe. I love connecting with my children in who they are and how they are constantly evolving. Having a genuine friendship with my daughter is one of my favorite things that those closest to me can really see the value and joy it brings to my life.
