Mom Gossip: Chloe interviews Alex

On P90X, running in silence, and eating "high protein" before it was trendy.

My mom was my first example of health, and the most steadfast and exemplary soldier of routine. She’s centered her life around wellbeing in the most private manner, with zero social media, no external output of self, no seeking of attention or praise… She is most certainly the tree who falls in the forest when no one is there to hear it.

Every morning since I can remember, my mom has woken up before the sun rises to move her body, often alongside my dad. She eats clean, meditates, prays, and maintains rich social connections. She does and has done all of this — never privy to the current and fading wellness trends.

She was reading Mark Hyman when I was a baby, long before he was taken seriously. She had an acupuncturist and has always been discerning about supplements. She does tasks in silence without the goal of “lowering her cortisol,” and she ate a high protein diet before we were stringing those words together...

She is the epitome of wellbeing and she does it all silently, for no one but herself, and her vessel, allowing up to show up as a mom and teacher and friend with vigor and vitality. She has been the most radiant example of what decades of taking care of yourself looks like, and I just hope to keep up with her.

—Chloe Chandler

Mom Gossip: Alex by Chloe
Location: Upstate New York

Chloe: Starts recording.

Alex: I take the fifth!

C: I don’t think that’s how that goes.

C: I wanted to start at the beginning. You’ve been working out and eating clean for as long as I can remember. How long does this predate my existence? What piqued your interest?

I have been working out religiously since junior high school, around age 13. Middle school. I did sports. I was never stellar, but I was fine.

C: I wasn’t either.

A: My earliest memories of working out were doing Jane Fonda in our basement on a VHS tape. It was like pilates, and she always had the greatest leg warmers and outfits.

C: At that time were you doing these videos because it was fun, or did you want your body to look a certain way?

A: Oh yeah, I wanted my body to look a certain way.

C: At 13?

A: Definitely.

C: How do you feel about that now? Are you disturbed by this or do you think that’s part of what it means to be a woman?

A: I can’t speak for other women, but that’s how it’s always been for me. My closest friends’ body types were very different than mine, and that played a role. Most of them were tall and bean poles, and I’ve always been short.

C: Did you care about your diet at that point too, or was it just exercise?

A: I cared about my diet, but I was a kid. I remember eating Chipwiches at school. Nanny always cooked our meals. We never had fast food. I was eating balanced. I don’t remember many snacks in the house either. Ice cream was always our thing because that’s what [our] nanny loved too. I think that never really went away for me.

C: You worked out through all three pregnancies. Did you change your routine for each pregnancy? What was that like?

A: With you, I didn’t know any better. I tried to keep running as long as I could. I tried to do yoga as long as I could, but I got frustrated and felt out of control of my body. I walked. I did the machines at the gym. I remember the moment in pregnancy when exercise became frustrating.

C: Did it get easier with Olivia and then with Brody?

A: No, it got harder [laughs]. You wanted honesty! I think with Brody I gained 65 pounds. I could’ve been a more graceful pregnant woman. You see these pregnant women now that are so cute, and I wasn’t like that. I was scared out of my mind.

C: Growing up, I always felt like you weren’t a person with many emotional attachments to food. It always appeared to serve as fuel. Do you have emotional memories tied to food?

A: I enjoy food, but I will find a way to nourish myself without cooking because I don’t enjoy it. I love when people cook for me, and I enjoy going out to eat.

C: You like chicken and vegetables and pizza.

A: It’s bad to say, but if I could eat whatever I wanted without knowing the nutritional value, I would eat pizza and lasagna every night. And ice cream. And raw cookie dough. This is probably not the way you wanted the interview to go.

C: No, this is great.

C: I want to talk about P90X because that was such a thing in our house. I remember you doing it, dad doing it, and I did it sometimes with you guys. What was the P90X craze about?

A: I loved Tony Horton. I don’t remember how we ended up getting it. I loved the people in the videos. They were like our friends. It was hard. P90X1 was better than P90X2. Leg days were the worst. There were times we couldn’t walk up the stairs or sit on the toilet without hurting.

C: You and dad work out together, usually at the same time, every morning since I can remember. I remember waking up to the sound of the treadmill going at 6am. Do you think working out together has had any impact on your relationship?

A: Having similar lifestyles in that sense, you don’t realize it at the time, but it has kept us both going all these years.

C: Could you see yourself being with someone who doesn’t work out?

A: No, I don’t think so. I value the lifestyle, and I would prefer to be with someone who valued it as well. You don’t realize it when you’re 20 or 25, but now that we’re 55 and 56 years old, it’s like all the years of hard work have come to fruition. I feel like I’m 25, and mentally even better than 25. Physically, I feel like I can do most of the same things daily. Maybe I couldn’t run a marathon now like I did at 25, but I could do most of the training I did then. If one of us had stopped working out, it would have changed our relationship. Not in a bad way, but it would have been different. We would have aged differently.

C: What is your favorite and least favorite form of exercise?

A: My favorite is cardio.

C: Really?

A: Yes. If I didn’t have to do weights, I wouldn’t. I lift weights for my health, but I prefer cardio. My favorite is walking, but it’s walking after I’ve done the hard work. At the end of the day when I walk, it’s calming. It’s not something I have to put much effort into, so even if I’m tired I go. I do love running. I love how I feel after a run. I can’t imagine not being able to run, because nothing else feels as good to me.

Stretching before a marathon, 1997

C: Let’s talk about running. You’ve been running since you were how old?

A: I never ran track, but I was probably in junior high when I took up running.

C: And you’re now?

A: 56.

C: So you’ve been running for 40 years.

A: Yes, about.

C: And you don’t have any chronic pain. Why do you think you’ve been able to run for decades and remain pain-free?

A: Because I balance it out. I don’t run every day. When I have tried, my body starts to break down. I run four times a week, and that has been a sweet spot for me. Even when I was younger training for a marathon, my body didn’t like that. It was one and done for me.

C: What do you like about running?

A: I like being able to. I can’t imagine not being able to do it. I love sweating, and there aren’t many things that get me sweating as much as a run does. Except now that I’m sitting here sweating. So except perimenopause, I guess.

C: You run in silence.

A: Yes, in silence. Whether it’s on the treadmill or outside, I always run in silence. I drive in silence too. I do a lot in silence. I like it.

C: That must mean things are sorted in your mind palace to be comfortable with that.

A: I often just count my blessings when I’m in silence.

C: Really?

A: Yes. And on the way to work I’ll listen to affirmations.

C: I didn’t know that.

O (Chloe’s sister): It’s true. Last year I went to work with mom and she made me listen to affirmations the entire way.

C: In this decade of your life, what are your current goals exercise-wise? What are you striving for?

A: At this point in my life, I want to stay healthy and fit. To me this means I can get down on the floor and play with my dog. I can run, I can jump, and not hurt myself. I can put my leg up in the shower to shave and not pull a muscle. Just keep everything feeling good. Young, I guess. I feel young.

C: Speaking of dogs, you and dad have always had a dog together. Do you think this plays a role in how active you are?

A: I remember when I got Rosie, I said that dog is getting walked no matter what. I have walked her at least three miles every day since I’ve had her. She’s been a huge factor in my life as far as walking is concerned. I could say I wouldn’t go out on half the days if I didn’t have her.

C: It must teach you a lot about consistency and discipline, and the necessity of things getting done whether you want to do them or not, because you have another creature’s well-being in your hands.

A: Yes, I feel like I owe it to her. Plus, walking has brought me deep friendships.

C: Is that how you feel about yourself too? Like you owe it to yourself?

A: Yes. I’m afraid of stopping and not being able to do it. I am afraid of getting sick. But now I’m able-bodied and grateful to be. My “whys” have changed as I’ve gotten older, but I’m not stopping. I can’t. I’d lose my mind. We’ve been through a lot of hardships and through them all I’ve worked out, and that is something I know I can always do for my mental health.

C: On mental health, was there ever a time in your life where diet and exercise were more unhealthy than healthy?

A: I am a person who cares about how I look in clothes. It is always on my mind. Sometimes throughout my life, working out was the only thing that kept me at a healthy weight. But I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter how much exercise I do—

C & A in unison: You can’t out-exercise a bad diet.

A: I’ve seen it on myself over the years. Eating healthy is the first line of fire.

C: My whole life you have always been extremely natural and minimal with your cosmetics. You’ve never had any work done. Do you feel different pressures as you get older?

A: No. Not to say I wouldn’t want to get rid of wrinkles here and there. But I would never undergo elective procedures. We all age if we’re lucky, and you do your best to look your best at the age you are. Age gracefully. In my opinion, a 75-year-old with cosmetic surgery still looks like a 75-year-old with cosmetic surgery. If you think about movie stars and actors who do it, in the beginning they look fine, but as they age it starts to look like they’ve had a lot of work done.

I also don’t want to inject anything into my body. I’m scared of going to the doctor anyway.

C: You’ve always had quite an extensive and expensive supplement routine. We’ve always been a middle-class family. Why was it important to you to financially prioritize supplements?

A: Because if you don’t have your health, you don’t have a lot. I prioritize it because I’m okay with spending on things I think are important for my health. I would rather do that than buy an expensive bag or clothing item all the time. And it does make a difference. Bad supplements are not as effective. So I’ve always tried to get better quality ones.

C: You and dad raised three very health-conscious children. Was that a spoken decision between the two of you, or did you raise and feed us the way you did yourselves?

A: Dad and I have a lot of things in common. We also have things that aren’t in common. But one thing we share is how we wanted to raise you guys. We weren’t feeding ourselves crap, so why feed you that? It never occurred to me to keep Oreos or things like that in the house. We didn’t care about you being on sports teams, but we cared that you moved your bodies. [That you] just did something.